kripix
28th May 2012, 06:15 AM
Agan yang demen film2 Hollywood pasti tau ma yang namanya Chuck Norris.
Pemain film action yang terkenal dengan Roundhouse Kick-nya di era 80an ini ternyata juga sampai sekarang masih terkenal.
Tapi kali ini joke-joke tentang hal yang aneh-aneh yang dihubung-hubungkan ma Chuck Norris gan.
Bagi agan-agan yang demen maen2 ke forum bule-bule, pasti joke-joke tentang Chuck Norris bakalan gak asing lagi di telinga agan-agan (Terutama di Youtube).
Joke-joke ini pertama kali muncul di dunia internet di kisaran tahun 2005.
( sejarahnya kenapa kok Chuck Norris gan : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_facts )
http://cebuclassifieds.mysugboclassifieds.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/fc1de_celebrity-pictures-chuck-norris-own-country.jpg
Langsung aja gan.
Berikut ini joke-joke tentang Chuck Norris :
(Kebanyakan pake bahasa Inggris sih. Ntar ane transletin yang menurut ane paling lucu)
[/quote]
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
3. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. (Chuck Norris tidak akan pernah terkena serangan jantung, karena jantungnya tidak cukup bodoh untuk menyerangnya :ngakak:)
4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. (Chuck Norris dapat membakar semut dengan kaca pembesar. Di malam hari :ngakak:)
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.
8. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. (Saat boogeyman -senyawa setan XD- pergi tidur, Dia mengecek apakah ada Chuck Norris di kolongnya)
9. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
10. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
11. Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land. (Beberapa pesulap dapat berjalan di atas air, Chuck Norris dapat berenang menembus tanah :ngakak:)
12. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime. (Dulu Chuck Norris pernah mengencingi tangki bensin truck cuma untuk lelucon, Truck itu sekarang dikenal sebagai Optimus Prime :ngakak:)
13. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes
14. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
15. The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.
16. They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors. (Mereka pernah menayangkan Walker Texas Ranger 3D. Dan tidak ada yang selamat :ngakak:)
17. Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
18. Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
19. Chuck Norris wears sun glasses to protect the sun from his eyes. (Chuck Norris memakai sun glasses untuk melindungi matahari dari matanya :ngakak:)
20. You have $5, Chuck Norris has $3. Chuck Norris has more money than you.
21. Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
22. Chuck Norris once roundhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek.
23. If you want a list of Chuck Norris� enemies, just check the extinct species list. (Jika ingin tahu daftar musuh2 Chuck Norris, lihat saja daftar spesies2 yang telah punah :ngakak:)
24. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down
25. Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's not because he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared of him.
26. When girls have sex with god, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!! -dibalik gan, kan biasanya kalo kimpoi cwek bilangnya "oh my god"- :ngakak:
27. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
28. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
29. The reason why pluto is no longer a planet is because Chuck Norris used it as a bowling ball.
30. Chuck Norris woke up one day and decided he should share his knowledge with the world... Thus Google was born.
31. Go to Google and type in "Find Chuck Norris" Then Click "I'm Feeling Lucky" -matiin pencarian otomatis googlenya gan, ntar slah salah satu joke Chuck Norris bakal keluar XD-
32. Chuck Norris can beat Halo 3 on Legendary level...with a guitar hero controller!
33. The continents didn't drift away from each other, they just found out that chuck norris was gunna be on america so they all ran away.
34. When God sneezes, people say Chuck Norris bless you
35. Chuck Norris once went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac...and got one. -padahal saingan berat gan :ngakak:-
Update!
36. A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. (Tanda parkir untuk orang cacat sebenarnya bukan diperuntukkan untuk orang cacat, tapi sebenarnya itu adalah zona parkir milik Chuck Norris dan jika kamu menempatinya kamu akan di-cacatkan :ngakak:)
37. The reason God called himself "God" was because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
38. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. twice. (Chuck Norris telah menghitung sampai ke bilangan tak terbatas. Sebanyak dua kali! :ngakak:)
39. Who would win the race between Iron man and Superman to the moon???Chuck Norris
40. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands. Now there just the islands. -Udah gak perawan gan tuh Island- :ngakak:
41.
Chuck Norris once took a very big dump...that dump is known as Mt. Everest (also, the leak he took with it is known as the Pacific Ocean).
42. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
43. The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris. (Pena lebih hebat dari pada pedang, tapi hanya ketika itu dipegang oleh Chuck Norris :ngakak:)
44. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
45. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
46. Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
47. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
48. Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale. (Denyut nadi Chuck Norris dihitung dengan skala richter :ngakak:)
49. Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. (Chuck Norris seorang vegetarian. Artinya, dia tidak akan memakan hewan2 sampai dia merubah hewan2 tersebut ke dalam bentuk tumbuhan dengan tinjunya :ngakak:)
[quote]
50. If Chuck Norris was a doctor. There would be no more sickness.
:ceriwislove: Sumbangan dan Komen Asik dari ceriwiser di POST #11 :ceriwislove:
:rate5 :rate5 :rate5 :rate5 :rate5
:rate5 :rate5 :rate5 :rate5
:rate5 :rate5 :rate5
:rate5 :rate5
:rate5
More : http://www.mustsharejokes.com/page/Chuck+Norris+Jokes
</div>
Pemain film action yang terkenal dengan Roundhouse Kick-nya di era 80an ini ternyata juga sampai sekarang masih terkenal.
Tapi kali ini joke-joke tentang hal yang aneh-aneh yang dihubung-hubungkan ma Chuck Norris gan.
Bagi agan-agan yang demen maen2 ke forum bule-bule, pasti joke-joke tentang Chuck Norris bakalan gak asing lagi di telinga agan-agan (Terutama di Youtube).
Joke-joke ini pertama kali muncul di dunia internet di kisaran tahun 2005.
( sejarahnya kenapa kok Chuck Norris gan : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_facts )
http://cebuclassifieds.mysugboclassifieds.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/fc1de_celebrity-pictures-chuck-norris-own-country.jpg
Langsung aja gan.
Berikut ini joke-joke tentang Chuck Norris :
(Kebanyakan pake bahasa Inggris sih. Ntar ane transletin yang menurut ane paling lucu)
[/quote]
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
3. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. (Chuck Norris tidak akan pernah terkena serangan jantung, karena jantungnya tidak cukup bodoh untuk menyerangnya :ngakak:)
4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. (Chuck Norris dapat membakar semut dengan kaca pembesar. Di malam hari :ngakak:)
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.
8. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. (Saat boogeyman -senyawa setan XD- pergi tidur, Dia mengecek apakah ada Chuck Norris di kolongnya)
9. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
10. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
11. Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land. (Beberapa pesulap dapat berjalan di atas air, Chuck Norris dapat berenang menembus tanah :ngakak:)
12. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime. (Dulu Chuck Norris pernah mengencingi tangki bensin truck cuma untuk lelucon, Truck itu sekarang dikenal sebagai Optimus Prime :ngakak:)
13. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes
14. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
15. The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.
16. They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors. (Mereka pernah menayangkan Walker Texas Ranger 3D. Dan tidak ada yang selamat :ngakak:)
17. Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
18. Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
19. Chuck Norris wears sun glasses to protect the sun from his eyes. (Chuck Norris memakai sun glasses untuk melindungi matahari dari matanya :ngakak:)
20. You have $5, Chuck Norris has $3. Chuck Norris has more money than you.
21. Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
22. Chuck Norris once roundhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek.
23. If you want a list of Chuck Norris� enemies, just check the extinct species list. (Jika ingin tahu daftar musuh2 Chuck Norris, lihat saja daftar spesies2 yang telah punah :ngakak:)
24. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down
25. Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's not because he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared of him.
26. When girls have sex with god, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!! -dibalik gan, kan biasanya kalo kimpoi cwek bilangnya "oh my god"- :ngakak:
27. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
28. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
29. The reason why pluto is no longer a planet is because Chuck Norris used it as a bowling ball.
30. Chuck Norris woke up one day and decided he should share his knowledge with the world... Thus Google was born.
31. Go to Google and type in "Find Chuck Norris" Then Click "I'm Feeling Lucky" -matiin pencarian otomatis googlenya gan, ntar slah salah satu joke Chuck Norris bakal keluar XD-
32. Chuck Norris can beat Halo 3 on Legendary level...with a guitar hero controller!
33. The continents didn't drift away from each other, they just found out that chuck norris was gunna be on america so they all ran away.
34. When God sneezes, people say Chuck Norris bless you
35. Chuck Norris once went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac...and got one. -padahal saingan berat gan :ngakak:-
Update!
36. A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. (Tanda parkir untuk orang cacat sebenarnya bukan diperuntukkan untuk orang cacat, tapi sebenarnya itu adalah zona parkir milik Chuck Norris dan jika kamu menempatinya kamu akan di-cacatkan :ngakak:)
37. The reason God called himself "God" was because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
38. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. twice. (Chuck Norris telah menghitung sampai ke bilangan tak terbatas. Sebanyak dua kali! :ngakak:)
39. Who would win the race between Iron man and Superman to the moon???Chuck Norris
40. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands. Now there just the islands. -Udah gak perawan gan tuh Island- :ngakak:
41.
Chuck Norris once took a very big dump...that dump is known as Mt. Everest (also, the leak he took with it is known as the Pacific Ocean).
42. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
43. The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris. (Pena lebih hebat dari pada pedang, tapi hanya ketika itu dipegang oleh Chuck Norris :ngakak:)
44. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
45. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
46. Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
47. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
48. Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale. (Denyut nadi Chuck Norris dihitung dengan skala richter :ngakak:)
49. Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. (Chuck Norris seorang vegetarian. Artinya, dia tidak akan memakan hewan2 sampai dia merubah hewan2 tersebut ke dalam bentuk tumbuhan dengan tinjunya :ngakak:)
[quote]
50. If Chuck Norris was a doctor. There would be no more sickness.
:ceriwislove: Sumbangan dan Komen Asik dari ceriwiser di POST #11 :ceriwislove:
:rate5 :rate5 :rate5 :rate5 :rate5
:rate5 :rate5 :rate5 :rate5
:rate5 :rate5 :rate5
:rate5 :rate5
:rate5
More : http://www.mustsharejokes.com/page/Chuck+Norris+Jokes
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